i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
