You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
