Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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