look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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