Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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