My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
