God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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