Pappa wants mamma naked
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
