YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
