I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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