Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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