I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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