I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
