You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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