I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
