You work out of a Hotel?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
