make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
