walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
