Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
