It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Text me some of your sweat
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