Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
