His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
