and you said cock pushups were impossible
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
