Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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