I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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