holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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