When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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