apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
