Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so that wasnt chicken after all
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
