She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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