I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
