Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
