can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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