even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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