i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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