I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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