i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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