And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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