Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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