My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
