don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I didn't notice because vodka
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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