Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
