its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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