Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
