Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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