My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
