i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this just has baby written all over it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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