You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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