my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
