he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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